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Swingology A Lifestyle Podcast
Listen in and Stimulate Your Mind as we explore the ethical non-monogamy community, break taboos and share real-life stories.
Welcome to our podcast, your go-to source for tips and advice from experts, specialists, and individuals who live and love beyond traditional boundaries. Together we explore the depths of human connection and discover how to navigate the complexities and joys of these unique relationships.
Whether you're just curious about swinging or already have an open relationship our insightful podcast will educate, inspire, and entertain you. Tune in to Stimulate Your Mind.
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Swingology A Lifestyle Podcast
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[laughs][music] You are listening to Swingology, a lifestyle podcast. Swingology is for adult entertainment only, and we're not licensed professionals. Our show features adult themes, language, and descriptions of sexual acts and desires. If you're under 18, this is not the show for you. The ideas and opinions expressed are those of the speaker only and not of any company or entity, and should not be considered professional advice. Now, let's stimulate your mind. We are back for another episode. What is the lifestyle? Steve, what is the lifestyle? To me, the lifestyle is a community of people who at their best are non-judgmental. They're free-loving, they're open, and we're all accepting of each other, of each other's bodies, of each other's boundaries. You love, you know? I do know. So, Tori, what is the lifestyle to you? The lifestyle to me is an umbrella term for the ethical, non-monogamy community, which is another umbrella term for open relationships, which include swingers, polyamory, you know. The lifestyle also would include the nudist, for example, because the nudists like to go to some lifestyle places, they don't play, but they are comfortable there because they are not judged, and they can be who they are. And you know what, some even in the BDSM world are considered in the lifestyle. Well, yeah, absolutely. They don't have to be a swinger. That's just one aspect. If you're part of the community, then you understand the ethics, you understand the etiquette, you understand the respect that comes in the play, with all of those understandings, then you would fit in with the community. If I knew someone was in the lifestyle community for a long time, and they were respected member, I know I could leave my wife in their care, and I wouldn't have to worry about a thing, because they are in the lifestyle community. If they were a newbie couple, or even a couple that was like from, I don't know, anywhere off the street, I couldn't just leave my wife in their care because I don't know who they are, I don't know how they're going to treat other people, but if you're in the community, and you identify yourself as part of the community, then you know there's a certain way to treat other people. Everyone understands that way. So what is that way, Steve? How do you treat other people if you're in the community? It's basically consent and boundaries, and then understanding other people's dynamics. So I would imagine other people that aren't part of the lifestyle who think about swingers and swingers and swingers and swingers and swingers and swingers and swingers. They just imagine in their mind that everyone in there is just having rampant sex with each other, and there's all this pressure, and people are having sex with people they don't want to have sex with. And that couldn't be further from the truth. That is the opposite end of reality. That's a nightmare actually for everybody. No one would want to be a part of that environment, nobody. What in reality what it is is consent is expected. So if before I rub another girl's back, generally I would ask, is it okay if I rub your back? Is it okay if I kiss you? Is it okay if we go off into this other room and play? Now some people like us for example, if another guy or girl asks me if they can play with my wife, I would say you're asking the wrong person. My wife is her own person. She can make her own decisions and her own judgments. And so I say don't ask me, ask her. But there are couples with this dynamic where it says yes, ask the wife of course, but then also out of respect, ask the husband. So you should default with that. Everyone's different, which is why it's important to understand people's boundaries. This is kind of a unique situation where I was in the lifestyle before you were. What did you think the lifestyle was before I fully explained it to you? Well the term of lifestyle I didn't know. I knew the term a singer. What did that mean to you in your mind? What kind of things were you imagining? Before we met I didn't know what it was. I thought kind of like on a far away land there's people that just kind of have sex but they're not around me and I'm not around it. And you know it doesn't affect me and I didn't know what it was. So then when you said in a past relationship I was a singer and I paused you and I interrupted you and I was like, well rewind. What is this? Because you see 10 plus years ago when my space was around I chose the status of swing or not knowing what it was just because it's different. So what did I say? I was. And you told me and I was like, okay, well I don't think I could do that. So I'm a very empathetic person. And so for a moment I closed my eyes and I played the role of what it would be like to watch you have sex with someone and to have sex for me to have sex with a stranger. And in my mind at the time I couldn't fathom it. It was like gross. I was like, I can't do this. But I don't want to just reject something without actually giving it a legitimate try. So that's why I gave it a try and didn't look back because it's pretty amazing. And yes, there are places where you can enter a room and have sex with strangers. That is a thing. But I think by and large the lifestyle that's not the norm. I think the norm is you vibe, you get to know them, you feel comfortable, you understand each other's dynamics and boundaries. And if it's a good fit and people want to then you engage in the next level of the friendship which include intimacy and even saying the word intimacy to some people like, no, intimacy to me is having a romantic passion. But if I'm just having fun, sex is sex. Intimacy is something I only share with my husband. Do you have to understand that about the lifestyle community that everyone has their own way of defining things? So something that we've gotten into the habit of doing is when we're with a couple and they say, oh, I only do soft swap. Ask, what does soft swap mean to you? This is good because in the beginning you taught me certain things because I was learning and you were my little teacher. And so you said soft swap is this definition. But then when I was doing my own studying on my own because I'm a nerd, I learned that the definition of soft swap was something else. So I brought that to you and you were like, no, it's not. So then we researched it and we talked to other people and there's different definitions for different terms or for the same term. It was very confusing because even for me, I'm like, my whole life, I thought soft swap was this but it can mean that but it can mean something else. At the time that I was just the women playing. Right. It was the men would watch and the women would interact with each other and that was it. That was soft swap. And the definition that I found was that I would play with the man and you would play with the wife only we wouldn't have the intercourse. It would be everything up to that. Everything but intercourse. So those are two very big differences. When we asked people what soft swap was, we realized that every person we had asked had their own definition of soft swap. Yeah. So it's like just make sure that when it comes to some of these terms like soft swap specifically ask what that means to them and don't make an assumption. Like for example, remember that one couple you told them you were going to cut queen. Yes. But my wife told this couple I'm just going to cut queen this one because she wasn't interested in the guy and they said, okay, that's fine. They said that was fine. If you know what the word cut queen means, it means that the wife is going to watch and be aroused by watching the others play. My wife was telling them up front that she wasn't going to participate in the play. She was just going to watch. And so we enter into this room, this place where we are going to start playing and the other husband starts approaching my wife and she goes, no, I'm a cut queen. And he goes, yeah, okay. And so he starts taking his clothes off. He asked me to stroke him. And then we were like kind of cocking our head a little bit. Like, do you know what cut queen means? He was like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, no, it's like a cook hold. Do you know what cook hold means? It's okay if you don't. I'll tell you. And he was like, no, no, I guess I don't understand. So then we realized he didn't know, neither one of them knew what cut queen meant, even though they were telling us they understood what it meant the whole time. And then we had to break it to them that my wife wasn't going to be playing. And then of course, they got a little awkward there. Just pev it. Pev it a little bit. It's all we do is pev it. And no, I didn't know. No, you didn't. I didn't. Don't take one for the tea, you guys. Just don't do it. It's not worth it. I've done it. And then I felt dirty afterwards. And then my husband felt dirty too. And just don't take it for the team because you don't want to have that dirty feeling. That's not what swinging is about. It's about enhancing your relationship. Yeah, if I had known she was taking one for the team at the time, I wouldn't have let it happen. But, you know, she kept that kind of to herself. That's another thing. Let's talk about this. Just because you've played with someone doesn't mean you have to play with them again. And that is hard if you're the one who wants to stop playing because you have this bond, your friends, maybe you get a long great, but you realize the play style for you or for me, in this particular case, it just wasn't there. And so I was the only person between the four of us that wasn't feeling it anymore. So I was like, thinking to myself, well, let's just keep going. You know, we like them. They're great people. But then it just started to feel not good inside. Yeah. Just trust your gut, trust your instincts. And fortunately, we lost our friends. Here's a good tip. When you're, let's say you're walking around and you're at an LS event or a location, typically you'd be holding hands with your partner. And at these places, the idea is to mingle with others, get to know, feel the vibes and maybe participate in play afterward. If you're walking up or in a couple of approaches, you are, you walk up to a couple and all of a sudden, or whatever reason you know in your mind, I am not going to play with these people. You can subtly let your partner know that without telling them to their face right in front of them. Hey, you know what? No matter where this conversation goes, I'm not playing with these people because that's kind of rude, right? All you need to do is give three subtle gentle squeezes with your hand while you're holding hands together. That's our little, that's our little. No one's good enough. You're your spouse or your partner. You're going to know except for your spouse and your spouse knows, okay, my partner is not feeling them in a physical way. So of course, we can continue to be friends, we can get to know them and be friends that way, we can hang out with them, we can share drinks, but don't turn or try to make the conversation, go, hey, let's bring this to the room where other things could take place, right? Because you have to have a conversation with your partner about, well, maybe I'm interested in her, but you're not interested in him. Maybe I could engineer a conversation that way. Whatever your boundaries are, have a conversation with your spouse about that kind of stuff. But in the moment, you know, I'm not about to invite these people to our room. I'm not about to invite these people to the playroom because my wife isn't feeling that. What if someone's in the action and they realize, oh, I don't want to be doing this anymore, but we don't want to like cut it off short. What tips or ideas do you have for people in that situation? So I, a memory actually comes to mind where that happens to you, love. Yes. Where we were in the middle of play and my wife was just not feeling the other guy anymore. I don't remember what the reason was, but you whispered into my ear, how do I get out of this? I remember this distinctively. It was in the very beginning of me playing in the lifestyles that I was a month in. And my body wasn't cooperating. Every time I tried to go down on him, I would gag and I would gag. My body didn't want me to do that. And I was dry. And when I'm horny, like I'm wet, like I'm dripping wet and this wasn't happening. And I just felt like, you know, I'm not ready for this. So he turned me around for doggy style and I happened to be face to face with you when I happened. And I said, how do I get out of this? I looked at her and I knew immediately. And I was like, okay, she's not feeling this moment. I said, you have to use the restroom. My wife said, okay, got it. She said, excuse me, I have to use the restroom. She went to the restroom. And in that moment, I started on my side of things. I started kind of like easy and off the intensity of the play. She comes out. She says she needs some water. So she goes to get some water. She starts getting clothed. And they're like, oh, you're done. And she's like, yeah, I'm just not kind of feeling good in the stomach right now. And that was it. So another great topic is swing your fails. So as you gain experience in the lifestyle and go through things as a couple, you realize that you've made a mistake once or twice. And it's sometimes funny to talk about those mistakes that you've made. We call those mistakes swing your fails. Why don't you tell the listeners one of your swing your fails? One of my swing your fails, like I have a bunch non-planned. You have a bunch. I do. I don't know that I have a bunch of swing or fails, but I do have one that I'd like to look back on. We are visiting a swing or establishment that had a playroom. And we got there at about sunset. The playroom opens at 10 pm. So we're trying to vibe. We're walking around the property and the night goes on. And we found a couple that we liked, but they were there with the birthday party group and they were pretty kind of clikki. So we couldn't really get in with them. And that's fine. Eventually, we go to the playroom, just the two of us, and we're in one of the private rooms that has a curtain. You could either have it closed, which means no one can come in. You could have it open where people can look in and watch you. And so ours is open because we were trying to vibe with people we wanted to play. And so I'm going down on Steve. My back is towards the doorway. Steve is facing the doorway because that's how the positions we were. And I hear this voice. Do you want some company? And I turn around and say yes. And I turn and I look. And it was like a 90 year old grandma. Oh my gosh. Like the lady from the wedding singer. The piano player from the wedding singer. It looked, she looked a lot like her. It was adorable, but the same time scary if you're in that situation. And we were only like 37. So she crawls onto the bed and her husband. Also about 90 right behind her crawling up on the bed. And she crawls up to my husband, looks down on his penis because I was just going down on him. And she says, "Now what do I do with this?" And I said, "Oh no, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant." Steve, do you want to get some water? And we high tailed out of there. And that's my big fail because I didn't look before I invited them into the room. I just think, "Yeah, come on in." And then I looked and like, "But honestly though, to my defense, even if I invited you into the room, are we going to vibe first before we just jump in playing? I was kind of just stunned." We did actually end up finding someone to vibe with that night. It was very late in the playroom, but there was another younger couple that was there. And I distinctly remember we were having sex side by side with our partners. And you looked at her and I looked at him and the guys looked at each other and we were like, "Yeah, and it just kind of happened." It was just a seamless, like the guys just moved over and we just started playing with each other. I didn't know their names. That was fantastic. It was so spontaneous. And that's one of my favorite things about the lifestyle is the spontaneous, like if it's planned out, it kind of kills it for me. Other people maybe different. The buildup might help you to find excitement. But for me, the spontaneous, like, "Wait, what just happened? Like, what? That's fun." And my wife is through spontaneity and through her brain. Sometimes thinking too much about it kind of kills it for her. If she feels like there's an expectation that kills it for her, like if we were going to meet a couple for dinner and they're like, "Are we going to get a hotel room after?" It's like, "I get that there's logistics and you kind of want to know in advance sometimes, but there's a presumption and I'm a wife has to either accept the presumption or turn it down." Which are both negatives. You either have to accept the presumption, which is a negative, or you have to turn it down, which is a negative. And that's for that type of personality. That's a turn off. My favorite thing is the consent and the respect because that's at the parties, there's consent and respect. And at the vanilla clubs, you don't necessarily have that consent and respect. Yeah, you might just have some guy that grabs your butt. Exactly. And you're not going to get that. You're just going to be getting that at a lifestyle place. And that's another thing that I love about the lifestyle is that if there is a bad apple in the bunch, the entire community is going to stand up for you if they know about it. Safety is a very important thing at any lifestyle establishment or place. And you should always be able to ask for a tour, know where the exits are, especially in the playrooms, or should always be like someone from the establishment onsite in the playroom or nearby so you can flag them down or you can say, "Hey, we need some attention over here if something untoward is happening." Steve, what is your favorite thing about the lifestyle? So I love that and it doesn't do it for everybody, but I love that it strengthens our relationship. Imagine you're with your partner and you're fulfilling their desires and you're helping fulfill their fantasies and you're giving them the best time of their life and they're having experiences with other people that you can't give them because one of the things that's hard for people to accept and the lifestyle is that you cannot give your partner every kind of experience. Let me give you an example. Let's say I have a eight inch cock. When I have sex with my wife, she's going to have a unique kind of experience because of the size of my heart. Now I know my wife has played with another man whose dick was curved at least 60 degrees to the left. It was a hard left curve. I cannot give my wife that experience. If I am buff and big, she's going to wrap her arms around me and she's going to feel a certain kind of way. If I'm a stick figure, she's going to wrap her arms around me and feel a certain kind of way. If I weigh 250 pounds, but I'm a comedic, hella fun guy, that's a different experience. So, those experiences, she's going to have with these people are all based on physical attributes that there's nothing that I can do that's going to give her those experiences. There's some people that like, I remember I played with a couple and I gave the wife two back-to-back, squirting orgasms and the husband immediately got jealous. It was a jealousy thing. He was like, "What do you mean? You love sex with him better than me?" And it was like, "Whoa, let's top this and bring it down to an educational moment here for a second." And I was like, "How many women have you had sex with?" And he said, "At the time, I think he said three." Correct me if you remember. He said, "Three women." I said, "Okay. Five had sex with, and I'm just ballparking a roughly a hundred. Okay? So my level of experience is going to be different than your level of experience. How about you come over here and I will show you what I did and you can give your wife the same thing?" All of a sudden, it was like a light bulb went off in his brain. He's like, "Wait, you can teach me?" And it's like, "Of course I can teach you. Come over here." Do you remember when you were taught how to make someone squirt? No. It was from an older guy. It was when you were very, very young. You were young in a lifestyle. Oh, yeah. And an older guy taught you how to do it. Wow. I remember that story because I was like, "Wait, how do you do that?" Anyway, so I'm with this guy and now I'm teaching him how to make his wife squirt and have an orgasm and he's successful. I was like, "See? That's not so hard." And it clicked on him that the lifestyle can enhance his relationship with his wife because who goes to sex school? There's no such thing as sex school. Some people out there have sex with one partner their whole life and they have no idea what they're missing out on in terms of how a great sex can be. Maybe they're with a person that has no energy in the bedroom, but they think that's what sex is. An energy less experience. Whereas for me, I like to give high passion, high intensity, a pleasure, dominant experience. If you leave the room exhausted and completely like, "Oh my God, I couldn't count the orgasms," then I know that you had a great experience and I did what I was supposed to do. Just think about it though. There are some people that that idea would not feel good to them. Everyone's different. Right. I met a woman who said, "I don't like long sex." And I said, "Okay, I tend to do long sex." And she goes, "No. Five to ten minutes." And then we're done. She's like, "If you can handle that, we're going to be good." So I was like, "All right, so you want an explosion of energy, not an enduring amount of energy, got it." So she was like, "Rail me for ten minutes and then we're done." I was like, "Okay." She was very clear about what she wanted. I appreciated that. That's one of the another thing that I love about the lifestyles of. There's all these different flavors and different boundaries and aspects, dynamics. Steve, how has the lifestyle enhanced our relationship? When we talk about our boundaries, when we first started in the lifestyle, we had, I don't know, maybe a dozen boundaries. And as we gained experience and had experiences in the lifestyle at parties and houses and with people, we would talk and communicate about those boundaries. I remember one of our very first boundaries was, "We're not going to play with another person without the other person being there." And so we end up in a situation where we're at a house, we're with a couple. We split off to get drinks. You and the guy go to the hot tub and me and the girl are still at the kitchen table drinking our drinks. And then all of a sudden, you're rubbing the guys back and he gets hard and he grabs your hand and puts your hand on his dick. In your mind, you are like, "Oh my gosh, I'm not supposed to play without my husband being there." And the girl in the kitchen was like rubbing my arm and then she kisses me and I'm thinking,"Oh my gosh, I'm not supposed to play without my wife being there." And so we both stopped the other person and we've almost met in the middle as we come find each other like, "Hey, you know, this stuff's happening." And we realized that we were honoring each other's boundaries and that was so affirming for our relationship. We had a great time with that couple. We went home, we talked about how amazing it was that we were thinking about each other in that moment and we were in the middle of finding each other at the same time. And we were realizing that we respect each other so much that we stopped the play from continuing to find each other. And that affirmed our relationship and how like strengthening does it feel mentally knowing that you can trust your partner that much that they're going to stop physical pleasure for you and that we were both in the middle of finding each other in that moment to tell each other that, you know, our boundaries are being tested. And so that boundary went away immediately after because we talked about it and we were like, you know, neither one of us felt awkward about being in another location of the house at the same time. It wasn't that we were trying to engineer it that way. It's just that's how it organically happened. And we realized there's going to be more organic experiences that we're going to have that are going to happen. How does it strengthen your relationship? The communication. The trust. The trust. The honesty. Other ways it can enhance your relationship is, you know, if your spouse has this fantasy of being with two women, there's nothing you're going to be able to do by yourself that's going to give him that fantasy. And how empowering is it for you as a woman to find another woman or allow another woman into your bed to give your husband, you know, something he wants? This is absolutely true. This is actually, again, not again, but this is one of the things that I like about being a cuckooan is that when I know my husband, when I see my husband playing with another woman and I'm watching, I know that he's doing that. Because I'm allowing it. If I said, okay, I'm done, he would stop immediately. And so that's empowering to know that I'm giving him this experience and he's loving that I'm giving him this experience and she's enjoying herself. Yeah. There was one time it was in the other direction. My wife doesn't vibe with guys physically that way anymore, not recently anyway. And it's kind of rare that she does. And when she does, I kind of like, I protect that as I listen. My friends will come up and be like, hey, let's go to the club. I like, no, actually, that's not right now. My wife is actually vibing with a guy. That's kind of rare. She's kind of feeling them a little bit. I'm going to nurture that and let that continue on. Because if play is going to happen, I want that for her because she doesn't, she doesn't normally get that. She doesn't want that sometimes. And so when it does happen, I'm pretty protective of it. And of course, if I went to her and I said, babe, I'm not feeling that guy. I don't think you should do it. Or I heard him say this to another woman. He doesn't respect other people or whatever. She would obviously stop talking to him and respect me the same way. That's a little steep. I have a question for you. Yes. In 2024, how would a newbie couple meet people to swing with? There's a different ways, of course. You can go to apps like Feld. You can do SDC. If you're on the East Coast, you can do Cassidy. If you're on the West Coast. And of course, those apps are intermingle. You can do SLS here if you're in the Florida area. These places allow you to create profiles and discuss what it is that your boundaries are, what it is that you're looking for, and give you opportunities to meet people. Alternatively, you can go for organic experiences, which is what we've kind of maneuvered into. So you would go to your local lifestyle club or place, intermingle with people that are there and allow organic friendships to grow that way. I will say this, if you're going to a lifestyle establishment and you're going to go with your partner and you're going for your first time, you're going to feel shy. You're going to feel a little out of place. And you're going to feel like everyone is clicky because everyone is talking to each other. Everyone's having a great time and you're not. The reason why you feel that way is because they all know each other. They don't know you and they are respecting you because you're new there. They're not going to sit there and come up and approach you and give you a kind of pressure. So if you want to get to know them, you need to be okay with introducing yourself to other people. So one of you in your relationship needs to have the courage to walk up and introduce both of you to whoever you want to hang out with. I have an example. Go ahead. When I was new in the lifestyle and I wanted to meet new people, I started this trend. So the lifestyle place that we go to, I call the country club. There's people that you can serve alcohol out of your room or you can serve alcohol out of your car. So my trend in the beginning was, okay, I'll take a shot. Thank you for the shot. But I need a, I need someone to kiss as a chaser. Who can I kiss here? And it was a way to break the ice for me being an introvert. Yeah, an introvert said that. And it was a way to meet people and you know, just it, people ended up liking that aspect, that little trend that I had. I don't know how long I, I did it maybe six months or so. You still do it once in a while. You just did it recently because you were told as a story and like, hey, who wants to do it this time? Yeah. So it's going to be my chaser after I take this shot. What is not the lifestyle? Why don't you share? I feel like I've been talking a lot this episode. We were in the play room at an establishment and we were playing with each other in the main common area. There was a nice couple, came and sat down on the couch near us and they were watching us. After a few moments go by, the gentleman leaned down and said, can my wife touch you? And I said, yes, she can touch me. I wasn't going to play with anyone, but she can touch me if she wants to play. Right? I was touching my arm and then the man starts touching me and going from my breast. I'm sorry. I didn't say he could touch me. He didn't ask if he could touch me. He asked if his wife could touch me and I was okay with that, but he never asked for himself and that is not consent. So I looked at Steve and I said, what is he doing? And then you said, I'm sorry sir, that's enough now. And they backed off and they left, but be specific. There is, especially with newer couples in the lifestyle, you explain what consent is and it takes a little bit of practice to honor consent and to know what consent really means. Because in his mind he asked for consent, but he was specific with his wife and he assumed because his wife was touching, well now I can touch. Well, it doesn't work that way, honestly. I was watching Reel's the other day and came across one and it was a video of a couple fighting in a hotel hallway. The husband was in the hallway and the wife was in the doorway with some other guy leaving the room and they obviously had an adulterous relationship and obviously the husband was heartbroken and the comments down, like the little words down was posted with. There's swingers when you see it. That's not what swinging is. Swingers are honest people and everyone is in consent. Even if the husband is not there watching the wife play, the husband is aware of it happening and that's what swinging is. It's we're all comfortable and we're all consenting adults. If you're with your partner, your spouse and you don't respect her boundaries, you are advocating to your spouse and everyone that you're with, that your relationship doesn't matter to you. And that's not what being a swinger is. That's what being a cheater is. So you can be a cheater in the lifestyle, just the same as you can be a cheater in a monogamous relationship. What is something that you wish someone had told you about the lifestyle before you'd started? I wish that I knew about sexualities and what all of that meant, like the LGTP, all those initials, the pride community, what that meant. Like for example, in the beginning, I noticed that a lot of women were bisexual and I wasn't bisexual. And I felt like something inside of me was broken and something was wrong. So my nerdy self dived deep into sexualities and I learned about sexual orientation, sexual preference, romantic relationships versus not and attraction styles and all of that. And I learned that I'm asexual number one. So I'm not sexually attracted to anybody. And I learned what sexual attraction actually was. Like I didn't even know what sexual attraction was. In my 30s, I know I kind of understood a little bit of the concept, but so basically like I can crave a brownie. I want to eat that brownie and I can imagine the flavor in my mouth and my mouth waters. And for an allosexual, which is what the opposite of an asexual is, and they can feel that sexual attraction, kind of like I feel attracted or a craving for a brownie, they can crave the sex. Well, I don't crave sex. I enjoy it. So and even then asexual is a spectrum. Some people are completely revolted and disgusted by sex. Other people, you have to like build a relationship with them, kind of like the demisexuals you communicate and they build a friendship and a bond and history and then they start becoming attracted. And then there's others such as the cubio-sexuals and that's where I am. I'm a cubio-sexual. And that is the people that like to have sex because it's fun, but they're not sexually attracted to anybody. And so that's me, that's where I land. And when it comes to preference, sexual preference, which would be gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, and so on, I learned that I'm an omnisexual, which means I'm open to all genders. Yeah. So I'm an asexual. It's not sexually attracted. That's why I can't appreciate a woman's beauty or a man's look, but I'm not thirsty for them. I, you know, maybe I'm a little bit more of a sepio-sexual than that aspect because I like their brain, you know? That's something that I wish I knew in the beginning and because I didn't know it in the beginning, for a moment I felt like something was wrong with me, but then when I dived into the books and I studied and learned, I quickly knew where I landed. I guess it took me about five months to figure out where I landed. And just because I landed somewhere at that time, does a man I'm going to stay there forever? Steve. Yes. Is there anything that you wish you knew about the lifestyle in the very beginning of your lifestyle, escapades? I wish I could come back and tell my younger self to be more relaxed. When I, I remember first starting thinking like, okay, we have to go out and meet people, we have to play with people. You know, that's what we're here for. That's what we're doing here. We're here to play with people. I wish I could go back and tell myself, like, listen, calm down. If you just focus on making friendships and let the play happen, you're going to enjoy yourself way more. I think for the first two years we were together, I was kind of walking around a little thirsty. Thank you so much for listening to Swingology. I'm truly honored to have you as a listener. If you liked what you've heard, consider subscribing to our podcast or connecting with us on social media. The links can be found with the episode show notes. This is Tori Kist reminding you to stimulate your mind.[Music][BLANK_AUDIO]
