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Swingology A Lifestyle Podcast
Listen in and Stimulate Your Mind as we explore the ethical non-monogamy community, break taboos and share real-life stories.
Welcome to our podcast, your go-to source for tips and advice from experts, specialists, and individuals who live and love beyond traditional boundaries. Together we explore the depths of human connection and discover how to navigate the complexities and joys of these unique relationships.
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Swingology A Lifestyle Podcast
First Swinging Experiences
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[laughs][music] You are listening to Swingology, a lifestyle podcast. Swingology is for adult entertainment only, and we're not licensed professionals. Our show features adult themes, language, and descriptions of sexual acts and desires. If you're under 18, this is not the show for you. The ideas and opinions expressed are those of the speaker only and not of any company or entity, and should not be considered professional advice. Now, let's stimulate your mind. Steve, tell me about your first experience in the lifestyle. So, my first experience, I didn't even know I was part of the lifestyle when I was having my first experience, which was in high school. My girlfriend at the time, I had a best friend, and she was always asking me, "Why don't she just kiss my friend?" And then eventually I did, and she was kind of like a little cheerleader. And then that became a commonplace, I would kiss my girlfriend, I would kiss her friend, we were always kissing each other. And that went on for a few months, and then eventually her friend got a boyfriend. All four of us were hanging out a lot, and then it was, "Hey, I'm going to kiss her friend too." And at that point, I've made out with her best friends so often, I was like, "Okay, it was weird for me, I'm not going to lie." But I thought I should let it happen to be fair, you know? Okay, okay, okay, you were in high school, and what did the other guy think? Was he jealous? No, because he was brought into it, you know, he was already looking at me. I'm not sure what was told to him before he got there, you know, what his girlfriend or his would-be date told him about us, three. So I wish I could go back and ask a bunch of questions, but he just seemed like he was, he took it like a champ, he seemed like he knew it was going on already, and he didn't face him at all. Okay, so was it like a polyamory thing between the four of you or were you open to anyone and everyone else? It was just us four. I don't think there was like a transfer of emotions. We were just kind of like kids messing around, you know? Okay. I didn't know, like I knew my girlfriend was my girlfriend. I didn't know who the other girl was to me, other than a friend that I made out with. My girlfriend's best friend. That's how I labeled her. My girlfriend and I eventually created an adult profile that we-it was adult friend finder back at the time. I don't recommend you use that program right now, but back in the day it was adult friend finder. So you were 18? Yeah. Okay. So we created this profile and we actually met up with a couple and we messed around with them once or twice and yeah, I didn't know we were swingers at the time, but that's literally what we were doing, you know? Okay. So definitely wasn't a pal and a marine type of relationship. It was swingers and you're so young. Did anyone question you with your youth? Oh yeah. In fact, the first couple that met up with us were like, are you sure you're 18? They were asking us questions. They asked the CR drivers license. It was kind of funny. I can't imagine. That's exciting though. Tori, why don't you tell us about your first experience? Is it my turn? It's totally your turn. My first experience in the lifestyle, imagine a very conservative woman in her 30s, a very conservative woman in her 30s, going to a swinger resort. I researched this resort and I knew they were new to friendly and I wasn't even comfortable with that yet, but I was having an open mind. I wanted to study this before I, you know, said, no, I can't do this. I wanted to just understand it. So I decided, let me go. Dave come with me. We were dating at the time and I brought lingerie with me so I could walk around in lingerie instead of being completely naked if I felt comfortable enough to get down to that level. And luckily I did. I walked around the whole place wearing lingerie and that was fun, but that's not my first swinging experience. That was my first time at a swinger resort. A couple days later we go back and they're having a big party. It was a weekend. And so that was super excited or exciting and so we went to the club area and Steve and I at the same time saw this bomb shell at the bar and he said, I bet you're not going to go over and talk to her because you know, I was a conservative woman and I don't pick up people. And you know what that did? I was like, okay, challenge accepted. I'm doing this. Yeah. So a little backstory on my wife, she's a little bit of a brat. So if I say you're not going to do something, she takes that as a challenge and then wants to do it. So I was already like pushing her buttons right there. Yes. So I walked straight through the night club and with a smiling face and I look at this beautiful woman, I stand kind of close and I'm like, hi, you're really pretty. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to pick up a woman. This is not my playground yet. And she really liked me and honestly, Steve, you tell the story best. Can you share what happened next? We were in the club so we danced with them for a little bit and we're all getting touchy and my wife is like, so what do I do? I'm like, you touch her. Like how? And so I grabbed my wife's arms from behind her and put her arms on the other woman in front of her. Yeah, her hips and it felt so nice. I never held a woman before. It was a new experience. And then she was like, now what? And I was like, ask if you can kiss her and then she started kissing a little bit and then suddenly they disappeared. They left. The Janspler was crowded. It was pretty crowded and me and my wife kind of gave each other attention for a little bit and then we turned left and they were gone. And we were like, what happened? And so my wife was going, what's going on? Where did they go? Did I do something wrong? I was like, just calm down and relax. I don't know where they went but it's just fine. Let's just focus on us. It's okay. And then another couple came and they were like, oh, hey, we're so and so and so and so. We were kind of waiting for them to leave. And we were like, oh. So we started dancing with them. And then the first couple comes back with drinks for everybody and then I just pivoted real quick. I introduced the first couple to the second couple that approached. And then the second couple was like, well, we have a room. Why don't we just take all these drinks on over to the room? And so we did. Yes, we did. Because that particular location has private rooms where you can rent them out. And so we went to this room. I will never forget it. I like this beautiful mermaid theme. And so we go into the room where we're having our drinks and there's three ladies, me and them. And then there's three men. And the ladies crawl onto the bed and they're like, Tori, why don't you join us? No, I'm taking off my shoes and I crawl onto the bed. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just there to have fun. I have an open mind. Let's just have fun. Nobody knows. This is my first experience yet. And so the ladies start kissing me and I'm receptive. And I didn't really like the men just kind of watching us. To me, it felt like I was putting on a show. And if anyone knows me, I don't like to put on a show. So I was like, hey guys, why don't you come join us? And then the guys dead. And before we knew it, it was sex of us having sex on the bed. And I was watching my boyfriend at the time. He was my boyfriend. I have sex with his beautiful blonde next to me. I was being railed with this guy that looked like Maui and we were just changing partners. And everyone was just happy. And everyone was just having fun and pleasure in each other. And it was great. Absolutely fantastic. It was a really great first experience. And about, I guess it was about an hour and or something like that. When people start to slow down, Steve leans over and says, how is your first experience going? And everyone's like, wait, this is her first experience? And I was like, yeah, they're like, no, this isn't your first experience. Yeah, it is. This is really great. I love it. This is great. Yeah, no one believed you. So my first experience was a six of an orgy. I love it. In reference to that, some people like to go slow. And so they just want to include one other person. Some people like my wife just kind of like dove in head first. No matter which method or way you choose, just make sure it's comfortable for you. At the end of the day, most people in the lifestyle are just making sure that everyone is comfortable and that everyone's having fun. Yeah, your first experience is very important because if it's a bad experience, you're probably never going to want to taste it again. But if it's with people that understand, it's your first and they go, and they respect you when they go as slow as the fastest, the slowest person. Oh, that's a good rule. Going as fast as the slowest person is a great rule of thumb for people in the lifestyle. So if there's three of you, I'm sorry, if there's four of you in the group and three of you are ready to go, but one of you is kind of nervous and tentative, then the three should respect that fourth person and just kind of slow up and wait for them to catch up or maybe just schedule to come back and meet again another day. That way, you're not putting anyone in an awkward situation and you're respecting everyone's comfortability. Because there's some people that would feel guilty or feel like they're holding back the group and we don't want anyone to feel that way. That's not what's swinging as about. Don't do it out of obligation. Do it because you're honestly curious and you honestly want to have fun or pleasure people or pleasure your partner. If you're an experienced couple in the lifestyle and you're thinking about having an experience with a couple that's never had an experience before, you need to shoulder a certain level of responsibility with that. Because first, it's important that the couple that's about to have their first experience, it's important that they have a good first experience because if you give them a negative experience, they're less likely going to explore or have a second experience. That means that you need to not think about yourself so much and think about them, monitor them, check in with them a lot and make sure that they're okay before you start focusing on pleasure for yourself or pleasure for your partner because if you're just thinking about yourselves and not thinking about the newbies that you're bringing in to their first experience, they might be feeling a certain kind of way and you're not picking up on those vibes and you might just turn them off or turn them away from the lifestyle. Kind of like being a mentor. Yes, it's a big responsibility. I can think of a couple that it was their first experience so let's see, this was October of 22. We had a room at a singer resort and there was a newbie couple that was just walking through and meeting people and they stopped in our room. They were telling us that they've never had an experience before but they were high school sweethearts and the guy had only had sex with his wife. He had never had sex with anyone else before so he was a little bit slower. That was it. They just talked with us for probably maybe 45 minutes, got drinks and left and then we saw them again a couple weeks later. They were just walking around. Still, they had never played with anyone, never had an experience. I don't even know if they had sex in public just yet because this singer, Country Club, we were at the allowed sex in the common areas and I don't think they even done that. They decided to have an experience with us and I didn't know that he had only had sex with his wife and so after our experience and it was amazing, he has a really nice dick. Anyway, after our experience, the wife had said, "You're his number two" and I'm like,"What do you mean? I'm his second singer experience?" No, no, no. He had only had sex with me before. I'm like, "Wait, I'm his number two?" Wow, that's pretty amazing. I think that was so cool. I feel like they kept coming around and talking with us because we weren't so pushy. We were just accepting and last month, remember the unicorn. Remember the unicorn and we played and she was like, "Thanks for my first experience." Oh, is that the bider? No, that was last week. Oh, yes, I remember now. Why don't you tell us how that went down? Okay, well... We were at the country club. Yes, of course, we're at the country club and the rooms at the country club have very large windows and so sometimes people leave these very large windows open and people can walk by and see what's going on on the inside and ours was open and I am fucking my wife and we're having an amazing time and these people walked by and I would say it was maybe like what, two hours later, these people walk by again or this girl walks by again and she's alone this time and she sees us and she's like, "She looks through the window, she looks at her watch, she's like, "Are you kidding me?" She's got like that face on and so I walked over the door, I opened it up, she came inside and she's like, "I'm just going to sit and watch you guys for a little while if that's okay." So, me and my wife keep playing and we kind of like engage during conversation just a little bit, like a little chitchat gets nowhere a little bit while me and my wife are still kind of like touching us, right in front of us. Yeah, so she's just watching and then at some point we just asked her, "Why don't you just come over here and lay down next to us?" Actually, she did ask, "Can I come sit on your bed?" And I was like, "Absolutely!" And so I scooted over and she took off her bra at that point and she came over to the bed and then she said, "Can I kiss you?" To me, I'm like, "Absolutely, you can kiss me and we kissed and she was a great kisser." I said, "Do you want to kiss my husband?" And she was like, "Okay." And she kissed you. And the next thing I know, we're just swinging and swapping and she's having fun. Yeah, she had a great time. Yes. And she orgasmed, I think, was it twice? Absolutely. So, she went and showered and then she gets out of the shower and she's like, "Well, thank you so much for giving me a really great first experience." And we were both shocked. I'm like, "Wait, this is your first? No way." Yeah, that was interesting. And so we hung out a few times since then and hopefully we'll see her again this upcoming weekend. Let's see. If you are looking for first experience and you might think, "Okay, well, let me just look online." But I want to give you guys something to be aware of. There's two things that I would just want to warn you about. There's pick collectors. We actually, in the beginning, we had our identity to take in because of the freaking pick collectors and then there was a catfishing experience. So Steve, why don't you tell them about pick collectors and the catfish experience in the beginning before we met our besties? We were walking around and these people came up to us and they were like, "Why did you stand us up?" I'm like, "What are you talking about?" And apparently they had been talking to our pictures. Someone was using our pictures and trying to pass themselves as us and they were making these dates with people in our community and never showing up to these dates and this couple that apparently this person had made this fake date with approached us and confronted us about it. And we were like, "We've never spoken to you before. What are you talking about?" And they showed us this whole chat history and our pictures and we were like, "Oh my God, they're using our pictures, babe." I was so nauseous. My stomach turned. I was like, "Oh God, Steve, we have to stop giving our pictures out." I just lost faith in humanity at that point and I obviously survived because here I am. But just be careful if you're meeting people online and you're new. So my advice is you can have a couple pictures and some people don't want to show their face and that's fine. Have a couple pictures that you feel comfortable with like if they got out into the public, you wouldn't mind at all. And then have like a select four or five photos and then freely give those out to people and then what we do now is we incorporate our names in those photos. So when we send a photo, it incorporates our name. It's embedded into the photo. So if someone wants to take it, they still have to at least use our names as opposed to making up whatever name they want for the faces they see in the pictures. So another thing to keep in mind. Catfish. We have met a few people that used heavily filtered pictures and we met them in person and they were older or they were different looking completely or whatnot. I would say the most common form of cat fishing in the lifestyle isn't so much that they've used different photos. That's pretty rare. I think that's only happened to us once. I think it's eight. And the most common is that they use these filters that smooths out your skin or they'll use photos from like 15 or 20 years ago of a version of themselves. And then when you see them, it's like, wait a minute. I thought I was meeting someone that looked 20 years younger. This isn't who I was flirting with online. So one thing that we like to do, if we're ever meeting someone from the internet nowadays, is we schedule a video chat. It doesn't have to be all glams and make up or an hour long. No, it's just like a five minute video chat. And just to see this is what I look like. This is what Steve looks like and this is what you look like. And we're all legitimately who we are in the photos. They're going to say, oh yeah, sure, that's fine. Because they've also been catfish too. They've also probably had experiences where they were stood up at the last minute and they don't want to go through that kind of stuff. And so it's like a mutual thing where everyone's like, oh yeah, let's do that real quick. And then you get to see them real quick. Some people are getting their hair done or they're putting their eyes up or the guys like getting his dress shoes on or what have you. And you say, hey, I just wanted to say hi. We're going to see you at that restaurant in about 55 minutes. Just wanted to say, hey, before we left. Because I would say what, one out of every four times you make a date with someone online to go meet at a place or a restaurant, they don't show up. And they ghost you. And it's like, what happened to them? Why didn't they arrive? And then all of a sudden you can't reach them on conversation anymore. And it's like, they were never real to begin with. But I've learned recently that when I, because I've had conversations with people in chat groups and they're like, oh no. If anyone ever asked me to do a voice chat or a video chat, I would turn it down and then I would just block them. I'm like, wait, really? Wow. But it's a verification. Why would you do that? But they feel so like confident about their answer. I'm over here scratching my head like, why wouldn't you want to verify? But they're adamant that they would never do a video chat with someone right before a date they made. And they go off into these reasons and they don't make sense to me. But they make sense to them. And I'm like, do you remember the reasons? No. That doesn't make sense. I know it doesn't, but that they were, I mean, if it was just one person, I would just say that's a fluke, but it's not. It's a lot of people online and like the checker. Yes, there's quite a few. And they were like, oh no, I would never do a video chat with someone before we dated or before we met on the first date. Maybe they're shy. I don't know. One thing that I would like to add to that is if you're going to meet some people from online, go as a date with your significant other, your partner. So that way, if those other people don't show up, you're still having a good time. You know, so like maybe I'm going on a date with Steve. And the hope is to meet, you know, whomever from the internet. If they show up, great. We're going to have with three person or four person date. But if they don't show up, that's okay because I'm still having a date with my person. Torrey, talk to me about the first time you ate out of girl. That's a good conversation. Okay, so technically my first experience, I did go down on that beautiful bond shell that was at the bar. I went down on her and I didn't know what I was doing. I had absolutely no confidence and still don't have any confidence going down on pussies. But I remembered from American Pie movie, just make the alphabet with your tongue. Are you serious? I'm not joking. That is the movie it's from, right? Yeah, no, it's it's it's kind of like that. So, so I kind of played around and did that and I don't know if she was faking. Obviously she probably was faking, but she orgasmed that moment and that was great. And then she wanted to return the favor. And so she went down on me, but I told her I don't really orgasm like that. So she was like, okay, well, I want you to orgasm. So how do you orgasm? And I had told her, well, I had just started squirting like I didn't know that my body could do this, but last month my boyfriend, my husband now, but boyfriend at the time, he he can make me squirt. So she's like, come to the bathroom with me. So I'm like, okay, so she walked me into the shower. She got down on her knees and she did what she could do like with her fingers, you know, really fast and she made me squirt. And yeah, that was my first time going down on a woman. Next question, Tori, at what point would you say that you went from watching me with another woman and feeling a tang of jealousy? Sting. Sting. Two, you're watching me with another woman and that turned you on and you get wet by watching. Okay. This is a great topic as well. Let's see. Sorry, guys. My husband is amazing in the bedroom. And so it happened when I realized I was tired of being let down with swinging partners. So to me, swinging is supposed to enhance your relationship. It's just, you know, like a playground. You go to the playground to have fun. You don't go to the playground to feel bored out of your mind, right? So I had a lot of, not a lot, I had a few swinging experiences and they were, you had a lot. They were dots. Maybe they were whiskey decks or maybe they just didn't have the passion or the fireworks that I'm used to. And so I was so tired of having sex and not having fun. Sex is supposed to be fun. And so why would I have sex with someone and not have fun when I could just go home with my husband and have sex after he swings? And so one time the guy, he wasn't performing and that's okay. He had a great personality and I gave him my all to get him to perform but it wasn't happening. And so I thought, you know, I could go over onto my husband's bed right now with that beautiful woman and make out with her and have a threesome. And the husband would watch and this particular husband was okay with something like that. So I did it and it was a great time. It was fun. And then after that it transitioned to, I'm just going to watch with the husband, you know, with a different partner. And I realized, you know, I was getting wet and I was feeling more energized by watching and feeling the emotions because I know what it's like to have sex with my husband. So I was kind of like empathetically feeling what this woman was feeling and it just felt amazing. And when she would orgasm, I would feel so strong in my gut, like what that feels like. And it would make me wet and sometimes I would actually orgasm along with her. Yeah. Once I realized that my wife was getting turned on by me playing with other women, I realized that I had hit the jackpot and she was mine forever. I was already yours forever. I'm here with you. But still, who does that? I do that. Yeah, you do. Let's talk about our first full on orgy. It literally was my first experience. No, that was a six-am. I think the orgy goes anything beyond six. Okay. Listener, Paul, when it comes to an orgy versus not an orgy, is an orgy more than six people. So seven people plus and a six-am is not an orgy. So a full swap, which is four people, is not an orgy. And a three, some obviously is not an orgy. So an orgy is seven plus? Yes or no? Let us know. I have to put a poll on Instagram and you guys can go and find the poll and you can vote. In my opinion, five or more would be an orgy because a full swap would be four people and a three-some is three people. But then a six is six-am. That's just a fun name. You could say an oxom for eight people. Your brain is showing again. Okay, so just to recap, we've talked about my first experience in the lifestyle. Steve's first experience in the lifestyle. If you are a lifestyle, the importance that you have leading others into the lifestyle. And we talked about my favorite phrase, go as fast as the slowest person and what that means. We talked about what to watch out for if you're trying to meet people from online such as pick collectors and catfish.[Music][Music]
