Cancer of the Lifestyle

Swingology A Lifestyle Podcast is for adult entertainment only and we are not licensed professionals. Our show features adults themes, language and descriptions of sexual acts & desires. If you are under 18, this is not the show for you. 

The ideas & opinions expressed are those of the speaker only and not of any company or entity and should not be considered professional advice. Now let’s stimulate your mind…

Cancer of the Lifestyle

Tori Kist and her husband Steve Kist share their real life experience's while in their swinger journey.   

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Thumbnail image: Created by Tori Kist 

Chapters

• 1:49 What is the cancer of the LS?
• 6:04 We met a famous porn producer!
• 11:30 Pivoting is ok

Transcript

0:00

[laughs][music] You are listening to Swingology, a lifestyle podcast. Swingology is for adult entertainment only, and we're not licensed professionals. Our show features adult themes, language, and descriptions of sexual acts and desires. If you're under 18, this is not the show for you. The ideas and opinions expressed are those of the speaker only and not of any company or entity, and should not be considered professional advice. Now, let's stimulate your mind. Welcome back everyone to another episode of Swingology, a lifestyle podcast. We are your host, Tori Kist. And Steve Kist. And today we're going to be talking about the cancer of the lifestyle. Duh, duh, duh. And this is our opinion. There's going to be countless other people that do not see it this way. Yes, this no doubt will create controversy. But that's not our intent. Our intent is just to share our experience, share our mindset as it is today, and things change. So maybe in the future our mindset will be changed. Absolutely. Our opinions can change between now and whenever we decide to change it. So let's get down to business. What are we talking about when we say cancer of the lifestyle, Steve? The lifestyle is a great, wonderful, fantastic community. And sometimes this wonderful place that we call our community, which doubles as our playground, can turn someone into a financially motivated mindset. And when you turn your playground slash free loving community in area and you come across someone who is in a financial mindset, it can kind of give you a bad impression, a bad vibe. Now what are you talking about? Are you talking about like strippers and pimps and being sold out for sex? What are you talking about by financial mindset, Steve? What is that? I'm specifically referring to adult content creators. Okay. So things like videos on many vids and only fans and those other apps or websites that have amateur pornography. Yes. Okay, so let's talk about porn. Before I entered the lifestyle, I didn't watch porn and didn't have a need for porn. So I didn't watch it. Steve, however, you know, he watched it. Oh yeah, I watched it. I watched a lot. In fact, I watched it starting in high school and I never really stopped because there was no reason to. And so I saw that he enjoyed watching porn. So when I first met him and at the once getting to know him and all of this and I decided, well, let me give it a try. I mean, I'm at that point, I was part of the lifestyle and I openly saw people have sex like in playrooms and I did it as well. So I thought, well, let me give it a try. I'll see if I can find some porn that I like. And to this day, I don't sit down and watch porn very often. It's, if I do, it's a minute at a time. What I found interesting about my wife's porn choice is that she doesn't really watch porn as it is. She scrolls through Google images. Yeah, it's just the images and its gifts. If I masturbate, it's a very short experience because it's very quick for me. And so I can't sit down for 10 minutes and watch a pornography video. That's literally, I'm going to be off doing. A thousand other things by the time that video gets to its climax. So I just need the good, you know, scene with my imagination. I don't really even need, I don't really need porn. Her toy she uses, the womanizer will get her to climax usually within a minute. So she doesn't need long videos. But what about you? Like you don't even masturbate with pornography very often. Sometimes if you're getting a lot of sex in, in real life, you don't need that. I will tell you that since our relationship has opened up to allow our boundaries have expanded to allow open play, I have found that my pornography use has almost gone to zero. That leads me to my next question that I like to ask this question when I'm meeting new couples. It's just kind of like an icebreaker and it's a little taboo. So I like to just, if you guys don't know me already, I like to push people's boundaries. Push the boundaries, that's what I do. So what is your favorite type of porn? Is the question I ask. So for me, because I just need a quick little gift if I choose to have porn that particular moment, I just like to see penises. So that's my thing. I like just to see a nice hard cock and you guys can scroll Google images, gifts and see what I'm seeing. What about you babe? What type of porn do you like to scroll through? I mean, it has morphed over the years in high school. It was pretty much just sex in general and then it's gone through all kinds of things. Milves and three sums and lesbians and I mean, I guess the question really is is what porn don't I watch? Hey, you just, the image was there. You clicked on and you're like, how could this possibly be porn and then you're like, oh shit, okay, yeah, it could be porn. And now you can't erase that memory from your mind. It's there forever. So we were in the lifestyle. We're playing in the play room. People are standing around watching us play sometimes and we learn about online content creation through friends. We see success blowing up and we thought, why don't we try to get paid? I mean, people watch us have sex in real life and we don't get paid. What if we just had a few videos and maybe we can turn this into something? Now our friends who are becoming successful in this literally got so successful, they quit their jobs because they're making way more money selling these videos online than they are working. That's crazy to me to hear that. Yeah, content creation paid for their new house. That's incredible. So one day we're at the country club and we're just kind of doing our love lab walking around looking at the room, seeing if there's anyone we know, vibe in that kind of thing. And we come across someone who is carrying lots of equipment into one of the rooms. I offered to help. They accepted. I helped them with their equipment. We start talking, come to find out this guy is a legit 100% authentic porn director. So I started asking them some questions like, hey, you know, how often do you do this? Do you make money? How much do you make that kind of thing? And he asked, wait, are you guys content creators? And really, yeah, well, thinking about trying, we're giving it a try. And he rolled his eyes and he was completely annoyed. He was like, no, don't do that. That was like, really? What do you mean? So he goes into how content creators are the unregulated startup of the porn industry and it's giving authentic porn directors and the authentic porn industry a really bad vibe and a bad name. And he goes into talking about how porn directors and authentic porn actors spend a lot of time energy making sure everyone's safe. They require digitally verifiable STD results within days of the shoot. And he goes on and on and on about all the things that they do to make sure everyone in the industry is safe. Whereas content creators are just back door handshake agreements, are you safe? Yeah, sure. Here's my PDF that may have been edited. And yeah, so here you go. Here I go. All right, let's do this thing. So he decides to take us under his wing and mentor us for about a month. We created our own LLC for a porn production company. Yep, it's called Pleasure Bates. And I actually have a business guard right here, babe. We created it with the guidance and direction of the porn director. We basically followed the procedures that he put out to us. Yeah, the ideas. Yeah, the ideas. The only thing we deviated from was he had a content style that he did for his porn production company. Yeah. And we just kind of took a different direction in the terms of the content. We wanted to be more story based content and he was very much POV slam bam, thank you, man, kind of kind of thing. So what is story based content? Story based content is literally just that. It's a introduction of characters. It's a building of chemistry. It's a climax literally and storyline. Yeah. And we created a couple great, what I would call great series of videos. Right. And then we started getting requests from the audience for specific, very specific types of videos and they would usually be short in nature anyway from three to 10 minutes. And so let me talk a little bit about how did we get business? When you're doing content creation, you need to get people kind of like funneled in or piped in to your particular profile on the site, whether you're in mini vids or you're on only fans or the other couple of other sites. So the way that I've noticed a lot of the people in my sphere do it is they have an Instagram accounts or a TikTok account and they'll make more clean videos, get people's interest and have a link tree link in their profile description. So eventually the viewers will click the link tree and see the only fans or mini vids link there. Then they can jump over there and see that there's more naughty, spicy content for purchase. So in order to do that, you have to make your spicy content, you have to make your vanilla ish content on a regular basis. So this is a full time job. It's really, really hard to do. Managing a job in a family and your hobbies. It's hard to fit in time to perfect the skill needed for all of this. When you started doing this, we made the content, we would edit the content, we would upload the content and then it was about marketing the content. And despite our best efforts over the course of maybe six months, we really weren't seeing the fruits of our labor. Yeah, the fruits of the labor. We were nowhere near even considering being able to leave a job. I got to the point where we had to make a choice. Are we going to keep doing this or are we going to step off? And actually, it's around that time that I had my surgery. So I decided, I'll get a little break of making content, I'll heal my body and maybe I'll come back and maybe we won't. We'll just see how it goes. I think it was six months of healing from the surgery. That's when we had the five-girl dildo party. It looks as amazing as it sounds. It was very high energy, five women and they had a great time all on the bed together. And then about a year later, this past November, I had the two bald men, you and sexy lifestyle Dave to myself and on the cruise ship of the Bliss cruise. And that was another good scene. We created great content. There's just no one out there buying it. So we didn't have a lot of it, but what we had. Yeah, but what we did have, no one was really, no one was really spending money. And it's not like we were overpricing it. We got the averages of the content out there from other creators. And that's okay. It's okay that it wasn't going for us because the universe is going to give you what you're meant for. And we're just not meant for that. So here we are today, spring of 2025. I no longer wish to have my pornography videos out there. If anyone wants to watch me have sex, you can come to the country club when I'm there and you can watch us have sex. I'm no longer having my videos by my will on the internet. So they're probably out there, no doubt. And actually, let me rewind a little during that time that I had my profiles. I actually had my identity stolen and so when it made a Wix site, you had to pay to enter and lots of money. It was like a thousand dollars to enter. It looked like you were going to go to my site and you had to pay to enter, but the money would go to them. Anyway, I found out about this and I contacted Wix and I proved that that wasn't me and they were taken down. So I was fighting stuff like that. I wasn't making a bunch of money on my end. And my interest in passions are going elsewhere. One of the things that you deal with when you're creating content is you have to know going in firsthand that even if you want to back out, your stuff will always be out there. There is no, there is no way you're going to be able to scrub the internet and scrub people's hard drives and scrub all these automatic recording databases out there of the content of you. It's forever out there. If you ever want to have like an important high caliber position in your future life, don't go into this industry. Yeah, this is a life altering decision. Yes, it can change your life with the financial outcomes of many friends and people who do it to be quite honest. If you are one of the lucky few that break out and make that kind of money, then you really don't ever have to worry about working any corporate jobs. Keep in mind, the universe is going to give you what you're meant for and how many people are meant for that. When my wife decided to step out of the industry, I said I'm not going to do that, but I'm also not really pushing myself either, kind of hoping our future permanent girlfriend whenever she decides to come along will also be into online content creation and we'll be able to do that together. That will be exciting. Tell the listeners how I stepped away. What you have to do is all the websites that you post your content to, you have to let them know that you're no longer interested. You're going to send them removal requests. You are basically going to have to give the handles of everyone that you made content with. Yep. And then you can maybe expect contact from the people who you created content with because if they were using the content you were in to generate their umpteen amounts of money every month and then all of a sudden when it becomes unavailable, then you're going to get a lot of comments and questions and can maybe even some angry phone calls from the other creators out there. We were at our country club and one of these content creators approached us and talked to us about why did we step out and they didn't come at us aggressively or anything. It was just enough words to know that they were not happy. To be honest, it really did affect me a little bit and made me feel bad that our decision affected other people. I wish it hadn't affected other people, but it did. It also kind of solidified in my mind that they were only friendly with us at those times they were because we were content creators. The first moment they see me that I'm not a content creator, they're quite bitter. I mean, they were using us. Well, maybe, maybe not. I think content creators reach out to other content creators because they can both use each other for various reasons to help each other out. To get yourself out there, you would want to, ideally, you'd want to pair up with a content creator that's more popular than you. That way, their viewers learn about you and your site because that's one of the very few ways that you can actually get your name out there. What's the story? Why do you think content creation is the cancer of the lifestyle? Yeah. This goes back to when we met the pornography producer/director when we were being mentored by him. Content creators, they make every moment of having sex a recording session so they can sell it and make money. The passion goes away and it becomes work. Everything is work. It's all, oh, my dick's hard. Your pussy's wet. Okay. We got to make money here every single moment. It becomes like a junkie situation. And that is not fun when you're just trying to have fun. That's why it's the cancer of the lifestyle in my opinion. What is your opinion? Yeah, I saw that aspect of it and I would agree with you. Then, the other side of it is, you know, when you're in the lifestyle and you have, let's say, couples, account profiles somewhere and like, I would say Facebook, for example. And then you have all these friends and some of your friends are content creators. You're going to start getting your feed and you're going to start seeing all these other people like posting their daily videos and don't get me wrong. They're cute and they're sometimes like fun to look at. At the same time, your feed starts filling up with like monetized content. And then once you're in it yourself, you kind of understand what they're doing and why they're doing it. And then it's like, they only now want to meet with other content creators because why would you have sex for fun when you can have sex for money? And so now all the content creators out there only want to meet other content creators. And they don't, they're not interested in the lifestyle anymore for- It's superficial. Yeah, they're not- It's not genuine friendship. Exactly. And when we've met other content creators, even as we were starting to set up out, we've asked them like, hey, you know, what would you say is a downside to all this content creation activity? And they would even admit, they even admitted to us. You know, one of the things that really happened was we lost a lot of friends because we just don't have time for them anymore. They don't want to make content with us and we kind of just, we need to make content with other content creators. And so I, it wasn't just one or two couples that this was a very common theme with the content creators out there. They just, they said they literally had to schedule non-content time to remember to have fun and they were having difficulty even doing that. Of course, if you leave your job and you start something like this and you become successful, it becomes, it can become a trap because if you're making $250 or $500,000 a year and then you start depending on that money and then one or both of you and your relationship decide you want to step out or you want to stop or you want to slow down, how, what job are you going to find that can make up for those funds that you're not making anymore? It can be a very tough financial decision to step out if you become accustomed to that kind of money. Now it's not even a job, now you're kind of a slave to it. I kept my profile up because I still have friends and people I know who create content. I don't mind participating in their videos and I'm never really expecting any content to blow up or whatever, but if it does great. And I think if everyone had that mindset, maybe it wouldn't be the cancer of the lifestyle, but I've met lots of couples who start obsessed over it. They take off, they obsess over it and now they're not available anymore. You don't see them anymore. That was a great conversation. I feel like we've talked about every angle, the benefits, how to do it, the cons, how to get out of it. If anyone has any questions, don't hesitate to reach out to us. We're happy to continue our conversation privately through Facebook, Messenger or Instagram Messenger or through email. The links can be found in our show notes. Steve, do you have any homework for our listeners about this? Homework for our listeners, let's see. If you are a couple, I want you to ask your spouse, what is their favorite porn video or what kind of porn do they like to watch and then watch something with them? That's fun, babe. I like that. I think that's a creative, I opened my type of thing to do. How about this, for the listeners that might be all the more conservative side and not quite ready to visually watch pornography, try reading Smut because Smut is words, there's no pictures, your imagination takes over. That might be right up some people's alley. Let me ask you a question, Tori. Now that you've tried adult content creation and you've decided to back out, do you think there's ever a version of you in the future that would jump back into it? There's always a version. There's always a version for everything. So yeah, absolutely. Just wondering. I don't foresee it on my radar and the trajectory of my life right now, I don't see it. But stars are real lining every day for different things, so there's always a version. If anyone out there has similar stories or has their own stepping out story for content creation, let us know. Reach out to us on one of the many social media platforms that we have and we will review and maybe include it on a next similar topic we might have in the future. I think that's good. Alright guys, till next time, tune in and stimulate your mind. Woohoo. Stimulate your mind. No, I don't want to do it this time. But if it's the send off. I know, but the send off sometimes needs a change. It's the first year that we've done podcast. It's no, no more stimulate your mind. Come on, it's the... Don't make me do it. Seriously? Stimulate your mind. I sound weird doing it. I don't want to get into it. I know you love it. Just like in the opening, we are your host, Tori Kist and I'm Steve Kist. This is how we end it. It matches the end. Tune in next time to stimulate your minds. Bye guys. Thank you so much for listening to Swingology. I'm truly honored to have you as a listener. If you liked what you've heard, consider subscribing to our podcast or connecting with us on social media. The links can be found with the episode show notes. This is Tori Kist reminding you to stimulate your mind.[Music][Music]